If you want to get close to someone, set a goal for the two of you to accomplish together. It doesn’t really matter what the goal is, as long as it takes some time and work to get there. Having a shared vision for where you both are headed requires dreaming together and communication, and achieving the goal gives you something to celebrate; all the elements of a strong bonding relationship.
This works in any type of important relationship, from friends to co-workers or parents and children and spouses. My guy and I had a crazy goal a couple of years ago, to do a one day hike in the Grand Canyon that is both brutal and beautiful. We trained for months and encouraged each other along the way, while also making plans for the trip. I can’t describe the feelings I had for that man as we climbed out of the canyon, because we rose to a challenge and met it. Together.
Obviously, you don’t have to do a Rim to Rim hike to feel closer to someone; you can agree to read through a series of books, train for a race, visit another country or volunteer together. Find a common interest and turn it into something to strive for together. No matter your relationship, when the two of you are turned toward a common goal and both work to reach it together, your bond will be strengthened.
What goals do you have for your important people? My guy and I are making plans for an excursion next summer. And we are really starting to envision what we will be doing five years from now, when life should start to get a lot simpler. My daughter and I plan to serve others in Uganda together, so we are collecting information and learning more and more. My son and I talk about running in races, but we haven’t gotten past the dreaming phase yet. A shared, mutual goal can bring two people closer , providing you both with respect for the other and some really great memories afterward.