My guy travels. A lot. He left for another country yesterday, and later this week will be on a different continent. This is part of who we are as a family; it has been this way for years. But that doesn’t mean that we are experts at living a separated life.
When my guy is gone I don’t function at my best. Details go unnoticed and balls get dropped. It must be frustrating for him to come home and find that a bill was misplaced, a bulb or two is out and the computer is doing this weird backing up files thing. But the kids are fed and heard and loved well, so apparently he trusts me with them and we do this all over again.
Women often ask me how we do this life apart, and I tell them we don’t do it well. We aren’t supposed to. There was a time when I took over all aspects of our family and home, and we lived as though it didn’t matter if Dad was there or not. The kids forgot to ask where he was and when he would be home, and we hardly talked about his work at all. Honestly, it was harder to have him come home and mix in with us than it was to just have him be gone, because rules had changed and there was explaining to be done and who was he to have an opinion?
That was not success in any way for our family. It was unfair to the kids to have one parent try to be everything for them, it was unfair to put that pressure on me, and it was unfair to my guy to cut him out of the important things in life. We were not meant to do life alone, so we had to stop trying.
These days each child has their own relationship with their Dad, and I’m often surprised to learn something from him about one of the kids while he is away. It shows that they want him to be a part of their worlds, and he is asking the right questions. I have stopped trying to get it all done, and rest in the knowledge that my Superman will be home soon to make the world right again. In the meantime a ball or two gets dropped and the computer continues to back up files.
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18