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Sleep Together

sleepingEarlier this week my guy and I were winding down for the night when he remembered something that had to be done for work, that he hadn’t completed earlier. This is a very focused guy, so instead of suggesting he get up early the next morning, I could tell he needed to finish the job then and there. He said it would take about an hour, would I like to go up to bed without him? The answer was no, we talked for a minute about what he needed to do, and I dozed on the couch while he worked. An hour later we went upstairs for the night. It was worth it to stay on the main floor and wait, even though I wasn’t very coherent, because I want to give him the impression that we are together in this.

 

We try to go to bed together most every night that my guy is in town. There are nights when I’m not tired or he is stressed, but we go together anyway. The thought process is simple: we are on the same team so we should be together whenever we can. If I were to stay up an hour or two later than him each night, we wouldn’t connect in the same way, and I could be tempted to get into trouble. If I continually choose to sleep in each morning, my guy starts his day without any support from his teammate and could easily get off course as a result. Sleeping together is an intimate act that is not shared with anyone else; the person you say your last words of the day to and get to start the next day with.

 

I talk to a lot of couples who have very different sleep patterns, saying they just can’t go to bed early or are not willing to stay up late and I get it, but there may be some room to compromise. We all need 7-8 hours a night – meet in the middle? Go to bed early through the week and stay up late on the weekends? Look ahead at the needs of the week and decide what time works best for both?

 

I shouldn’t have to give up my right to a good night’s sleep for someone else, but I can choose to give up my need to honor my individual sleep cycle for the greater good: a strong marriage.

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7 responses »

  1. My wife and I always wake up together, and usually go to sleep together. If I stay up later for some reason, I at least go up with her to tuck her in and have some alone time away from the kids.

    Reply
  2. dang it another convicting post. I was JUST grumbling to myself last night that the hubby always follows me up to bed. I love to read and do a quiet time up here, but when I go, he goes. This definitely sounds like a good practice for him to have so maybe it’s me who needs to find another quiet place time…

    Reply
  3. Like, like, like! I agree on sleeping together, and I also feel the same about meals together, although that is really hard for us at the moment. My hubby leaves as soon as he showers and dresses in the morning, no breakfast, to beat traffic for his commute, and lately he has been getting home after Sam needs to eat supper (and I’ve been eating with Sam so I can exercise in the evening), but this needs to change. Our family feels weaker without this shared time, so I have prayed about it for months. I can’t share it yet, but an answer is right around the corner!

    Reply
  4. Yeah, I think that people who say “we can’t go to bed together because we like to go to bed at different times” are just saying “I couldn’t be bothered to invest that much work in my marriage”.

    Reply

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