When we think we fully ‘know’ someone such as a spouse, best friend, parent, etc. we stop actively listening to them. We don’t fully hear them anymore. We think we know them well enough to know what they are going to say next, or their habits.
But will we ever fully know someone?
Each individual is ever changing. Which means there is always something more we can learn. For any movement or growth to happen in a relationship, it’s beneficial to learn to let go of preco0nceived notions and realize we do not know everything there is to know about someone close to us. When we fully grasp there is more to learn, then we can take them how they truly are in the present moment.
Is this true? Could this be a big part of what gets us into so much trouble? Now, I love that my guy knows me so well that he can predict what I will order for dinner most any time and place, and that he understands my need to eliminate all overhead lighting, and complies. But I have to admit that I enjoy surprising him every now and then, whether by increasing my tolerance for spicy foods or deciding to go to graduate school.
I have been guilty of assuming his position on a topic before allowing him to share it with me, and have even had full arguments with the man without his being in on the discussion. Not very fair. What if we gave our loved ones room to grow and learn and change? What if we continued to study those closest to us, and learn those new slopes and edges? My guess is that we could prolong that new love feeling, because we are constantly learning someone new. And the person who is being encouraged to grow and change? They would flourish.
They say that the greatest human need is to be fully known; maybe instead it is to be continually discovered.