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Rubiks Cube



There are times going through life that something occurs and you know that you will not be able to return to what was ever again; you move cross country or leave an important relationship and can feel the glacial shift deep within your self. It’s like a Rubik’s cube and a new row of matching colors has just been lined up; a feeling of satisfaction comes over you because you are a big step closer to the goal.

In our family, a whole side of the cube turned over and got matched this past weekend: our youngest child graduated from high school. I distinctly remember the morning of the first day of kindergarten for our oldest, I wrote a letter to the three little people in our house, explaining the fact that life would be changing from here on out, we would be on the schedule of the school system, with an influx of papers and projects and tests. Our focus moved to the daily muddling through with a very distant goal.

Somehow those three little kids stretched out and became taller and smarter, they started to think for themselves and visualizing their own goals and our house is becoming bigger and quieter by the day. The chaos has changed to small bursts and been replaced with long stints of near silence. In the most practical sense, I have worked myself right out of a job.

When our first two children graduated and started moving towards their next steps I had a deep sadness and already started to dread how it would feel to have the last one move on, but so far I feel nothing but excitement for the future. Their future. Because this isn’t about me. For years they were an extension of me, hanging off of me and looking to me to see how to react to life, but now they have stronger legs than mine and they know how to respond, even if an occasional call to Mom or Dad needs to be made.

 The part that is about me? The Rubiks Cube that keeps getting closer to being completed?  It is a life filled with memories and experiences that have helped to make me who I am, and I can’t wait to see what color of the cube we work on next.



Last Day

DSC_1522.jpgOne of the first things I do every morning is to open my son’s door and invite him to start his day. He’s eighteen and very capable, and certainly owns an alarm clock, but I do it anyway because he is in my home and is so easy to wake up. During football season I would simply say, ‘Hey Buddy, it’s Game Day!’ and he would smile from his bed. He’s one of those morning people who appear wide wake and together, even as he’s waking from a deep sleep. And today is his last day of high school.

Over the years I have heard horror stories from Moms about their boys, especially their senior years, being ornery and impossible to live with but this isn’t something I have seen with Coleman. Upon hearing these stories, I have waited for the change in his personality and expected a lack of respect towards his Mother but he is still our easy-going guy as long as you feed him and allow him to go to bed when he’s ready. I can honestly say I have seen him truly angry twice, and both times justifiably so.

This morning I woke up an hour and a half earlier than usual, there’s an energy in the air that I can’t ignore. We are expecting eleven people to come into town throughout the day today, and have many coming through our door for a party tomorrow and a Graduation ceremony the next day. With all the planning and excitement it is tempting to ignore the emotions just below the surface, but I want to feel every one of them as they come. Our sweet, loving little guy has become a kind, funny young man with a quick smile and a boatload of confidence. And now it’s time for me to wake him up for school for the last time.

Hey Buddy….it’s Game Day!



I Saw Jesus at my Daughter’s Party

IMG_1726We had a graduation party for our oldest this past weekend; family and friends came from several states away and our girl was grandly celebrated. What could have been a tense situation, because of divorce, was actually an opportunity to bring about closure. Everyone was on their best behavior, and thankfully our daughter was able to be the center of attention. It went better than expected, and as well as I could have hoped for.


What I didn’t expect was to see Jesus. In the form of my friend who flew to our state three days prior to help me prepare for the party, and proceed to do anything and everything needed to pull it off. In the form of a dear older couple who drove six hours each way just to love on us, and bake 400 cookies! In the form of local friends who were willing to loan us tables and chairs for our event. In the form of friends who really understood the details of the situation and had been praying for us for days, both near and far.


I am so grateful for these friends who love God and love our family, too. I am especially thankful for their willingness to show us Jesus in their acts of love and service when we really needed it. Now it is time to clean up all the decorations, return what was borrowed and look around for opportunities to love on others like Jesus, exactly like what was done for us.


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